Confessions to a Jashinist
by Shippudreamer
Summary: This is a dream I have had I did not describe myself so any of you reading could probably self-insert yourselves into the story.  Rated M for blood and hidans mouth.  Future chappies or lemons depend on your reviews
1. Chapter 1

I was kneeing in a clearing covered in the blood of what used to be my family. I had already surpassed the stage of going into shock. Bodies were lying all around me it was not fear kept me from looking at them. No, My eyes were too busy as they were glued to the mad man that had done it all. The man was standing covered in blood standing on a circle with an upside-down triangle holding a charm a crucifix to his hellish god as he "prayed" to him for immortality and other bullshit. I was powerless to keep him from hurting me and I could only hope that he would leave me to wallow in self-pity.

I had been so blurred into and out of my personal thoughts that I had not even seen him turn his evil-sexy tooth filled smirk toward me with that maniacal look in his lavender colored eyes. Yes, I had said sexy. He may be insane but there was something to him. His looks were the most unique thing I had ever seen.

His eyes were a peculiar lavender as I am sure I have said before and his body was pale, almost albino really. His hair was as it if was spun with pure silver. He was average in height and even though I knew he was insane, and he would be my killer. I couldn't help but to stare in awe as he looked over my quivering form as I had tears of fear forming in the corner of my eyes. His grin widened then softened as if to be reassuring, but the bloodlust in his eyes did not change a bit.

He withdrew his scythe from the middle of this stomach and a long chain with a kunai type tip came whizzing at me. I tried my best to dodge it but my concentration was thrown of by his evil laughter. I closed my eyes tight and wished it would all go away.

"Don't hide your fear from me, It is impossible to hide it from Jashin so why the hell would you even TRY" The last word was screamed as the kunai chain was withdrawn away from me and a thin scratch on my cheek by the corner of my lips had started to seep a thin line of dark red liquid. 'My blood' which he had already licked off of his blade and his skin began to change color to all black and white where his bones were supposed to be. I knew it was over at that point, "I bet you would look gorgeous in blood," he said as he lunged his scythe toward his legs

"STOP," I cried and he gave me the most amused look I had seen him have for the entire state of events.

"Speak up bitch, this is your last fucking chance," he said as he watched me to stand.

"I know I am already going to die, I saw what you did to everyone," I sobbed a bit then spoke slightly smoother with slightly less tears falling from my eyes, "but, I can not help but be a bit curious. Can I do it?" I said the last bit quieter than the rest.

Pleasure and excitement flitted though his eyes briefly, "what the was that I didn't quite hear you,"

"I don't want my last memory to be of me being murdered," I said as I walked toward him in a slow pace. I watched him as he watched me both keeping eyes glued on each other he was the only one smiling. His smile only grew bigger as I stood along the edge of his circle.

"I want my last memories to be of me willingly accepting death, not my being m-

"Sacrificed" he corrected me still amused but I could tell he was getting impatient.

I looked at his hand that held a bloodied kunai almost offering to me. I placed my hand close to his and look pitifully into his eyes and his look filled with knowledge and suddenly for an instant I saw respect before is evil façade returned. He twisted his hand around the kunai to where my hand was under his and he held my hand and the kunai in place. My breath hitched and my fear had returned but I knew it was hopeless to even try and run away now.

"I can't die bitch so give me all you got," he whispered as his lavender eyes glowed behind his new-blacked skin. I swallowed hard and brought the kunai and his hand to his opposite shoulder and slowly and dragged it as hard as I could from his shoulder to his elbow and watched as blood began to flow freely from both of our new wounds. Mine bleed more violently and the pain was immense it took everything I had to keep from screaming. My hand began to shake and his grip tightened.

"Jashin blesses those who come to his side willingly if you stop I make you feel more pain than what you are doing to yourself now."

I swallowed the tears and the pain back and I released some of my pain out by stabbing both of his legs and twisted it around in his thighs until I almost collapsed where I stood screaming as I did so. His eyes rolled upward and he groaned and shivered as I continued to twist the wound until the kunai was removed. He panted and gave me a proud look as I glanced in agony at my legs as they gushed out blood. I began to fill lightheaded and I knew my time was almost up. He knew it too, I could tell from the look in his eyes. Those beautiful, deadly, dreadfully entrancing purple eyes.

I licked my lips and pulled my arm back as I made us stab him forcefully in the stomach. I gagged and coughed up blood and almost cringed when his other hand steadied me fore an instant. My vision hazed and began to see double as the world spun around me. The look on his face was pure ecstasy as I withdrew the kunai

"Thank…you," I said ass I dizzily withdrew for my final blow.

" 'Thank you' what," he said keeping my attention on him, his hand almost crushing mine against the kunai keeping me awake. I knew what he wanted me to say. I pulled our hands back and I drove the kunai into his heart and for the last instant before peace and pleasure and pain took over my body for the last second or two of my life I uttered what he wanted to hear.

"Jashin," I said slowly as the darkness crept upon my. The last thing I saw was his smiling violet eyes. The last thing I heard.

"See you in a few hours, Bitch. It's a about time Jashin had another-"

I know it is not the best but If I get enough reviews I may turn it into a stable story line and continue for about 30 chappies and adding one or two each week


	2. Chapter 2

Falling...I felt like I was falling and suddenly my body was impailed on to several spikes that I do not recall being below me. Now, I was sliding and choking on my own blood as I felt my body being bled dry. My vision began to haze away in to black,...then red. Pain was everything. It was as if pain became my pleasure; I had no idea when this had started.

There was a hand. A single pale hand that reached out and grabbed me up from my prison like a rag doll. Sharp pleasure-pain filled my being and I groaned in need of the strange feeling. Voices filled my head and I couldn't block them out. They cried for help and they cried for freedom and forgiveness. my eyes cleared and focused on a man as my body was lifted toward his form. I gasped for air and screamed as I was thrown toward him and the light and blood that rained from around me untill everything became black once more.


End file.
